Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Diet, Health & Food-myths Part I

  • Photo by: Bevan Goldswain
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, the dentist on the other hand... 

    This area is one of the most treacherous you can choose when you wanna bust myths. People have a lot of strong opinions and feeling about food, and many want that placebo feeling when they stuffing Asian kelp into their faces or spending half their salary at a little scruffy farm-shop filled to the brim with organic roots and manned by a wild-haired nature-woman dressed in a linen curtain. There are several reasons it's a touchy subject, often due to contradictory information and a massive market selling you a lifestyle. We also have a lot of old myths we have inherited from our parents from the time people genuinely thought that you'd get cramps if you'd do anything physically straining after dinner.

    Myth - Chocolate gives you acne.

    Truth - Acne Vulgaris is a condition which most teens gets. It's natures way of trying to stop teen pregnancy's by making you look like a zombie thrown up in your face at the exact moment you develop sexual feelings without the experience to not put a baby in everything that says yes. When your testosterone levels go up (on both boy dudes and girl dudes) your sebaceous glands start to produce more sebum (skin grease) than they used to do. That'll leave you one sexually frustrated, physically unappealing chaotic mess. Chocolate may be your only joy in life, might aswell enjoy it.


    Myth - Bro', do you even lift?  Well you're gonna need protein supplement

    Truth - Protein is important, 10-35% of your daily intake of food should be protein. When we discovered meat some 2.3 million years ago our brains took a giant leap in size and complexity and our bodies changed from vegetable-digesting processor to ripped warriors.

    My food craps on your food.

    But, do we really need to spend a lot of money on protein-shakes when we lift some heavy object three times a week?
    As long as you get an adequate amount of proteins you don't need expensive powder drinks in special containers with cool logos on. Eat well and all that extra protein won't change anything but the mood of those selling it.

    But without this, who will know that I attack ? They may think I'm a body sneaker!


    Myth - Himalaya rock salt is magic

    Truth - Sodium Chloride (NaCl) is salt and salt is good for us. We need it to function, fries tastes rather bland without it and Salt'n'Pepa would just be Sandra Denton. The salt we buy in little containers are either "Sea Salt",  which is simply evaporated sea water, or "Rock Salt" which is mined by one of these little monsters:

      Bro', do you even mine?

    There are a lot of claims made my both sides that their preferred salt is the best, but the wildest claims comes undoubtedly from the people selling Himalayan Salt. Google it and there are almost no limits to the magic:
    - Balances acidity in brain-cells (sounds very fishy)
    - Works as a strong antihistamine (can't find any support of this anywhere)
    - Help you sleep
    - Stabilize irregular heartbeats (if you have that, go see a doctor)
    - Reduce signs of aging
    - Protect you from cancer, asthma, rheumatism (sure it does)
    - Maintain your libido (tent pitched all night)
    - It contains 84-92 minerals in exactly the same proportion as your body (it doesn't and it doesn't)
    - The salt is hand-mined from underground caves (that sounds like the worst job ever)
    and many other fantastically imaginative things.

    And it doesn't even stop with all the wonders it does to you when you eat it, you can also buy Himalayan Salt-lamps that apparently (I kid you not) balance electromagnetic radiation, create healthy ions and oxygenate the air. I'm not even gonna bother with debunking those claims, if you believe that you are at the wrong place and nothing I say will change your mind.

    What I will explain is why Himalayan Rock Salt (HRS) is just salt, nothing more but actually something less. Even though they claim to contain a lot of stuff you need it doesn't contain Iodine (which is added to refined table-salt for a reason) and you do want that. And all those other "minerals" HRS contains, do you really want them?
    Every time you put some salt on your potatoes you'll get Uranium, Wolfram, Strontium & Cadmium. The only way that could be good for you is if you're aiming to be a cartoon super-hero

    I am Salt-Boy, I'm here to stabilize your heart irregularities and make your boners rock-hard

    Oh, and it's not hand-mined from underground caves, it's industrially mined in Khewra Salt Mines, the worlds second largest salt mine in the world with an annual output of around 385 000 tons. It's likely that the salt your city is using on the streets during winter is from Khewra. 

    There is no reason to change from your iodine-enriched table salt unless your friends are pretentious douche-bags that only eat hand-mined salt from the untouched ancient caves high in the Himalayas. If that's the case you should really get new friends. 

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About Me

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Member of the band Colony 5, also producing music under the names Moonboy & 200OK.
Rides a Kawasaki ZX6R
Loves movies, books, whisky, pipes and an open fire. 
Father of two girls; Enya & Leia 
Fiancé of Malin